Friday, December 30, 2016

An Invited Guest - Part V


When you a girl thinks of her wedding she envisions all of her friends surrounding her, parties, and planning together. Getting dressed, hair dates, make up time etc. are all part of the plan. But my day came and went without any of the traditional plans. There were no parties, no bridal showers, no dress hunting. I picked my gown all on my own, went to fittings with my future MIL to help. I did not get to participate in most of the planning as my sister, according to mom, was far more qualified then me. 

I got off of work Thursday evening around 6 and drove the 2 hours to my parents house. Had to stop at a fast food restaurant to get food as I knew there would be nothing at home. The next morning I got up and went to get my nails done before the mall actually opened. After that I went to the hair salon to get a mock hair do so that they would know what to do for the wedding. Then went back to my parents home to wait for the rehearsal. After the rehearsal we went to my sisters house for the rehearsal dinner that she had arranged through my future MIL. Then home to sleep. 

The wedding wasn't till 7pm so I had a whole day to kill. No bridesmaids to hang with, no maid of honor to run around with. I went to the mall and walked around till 4 waiting on my hair appointment. Then it was off to the chapel. You get to enter the chapel 1 hour before your ceremony. Sounds like plenty of time to dress and get oh makeup right. Wrong......

I arrived and drove around town for 40 minutes looking for a place to park. Finally my future FIL saw me and ran over with some friends. One took my dress, one my slip and one the car. It was a silly sight seeing then run across the UVA campus with my white gown and slip in their arms. I slowly walked as I was still barely getting around. the wedding started 30 minutes late because of all of the debacles. 

The ceremony started and ended. We left the chapel and went around to wait for all to leave for pictures. As my mom left the guest stood to their feet and gave her a standing ovation. Again it was all about her and she stole the show. She was also kind enough to tell me I looked like a fat marshmallow in my gown during the pictures. 

We arrived at the reception that they had decided on. There was no special table for the wedding party. In fact there was no table for us at all. We finally found a place to sit and got a plate of food. When the DJ asked for the bride and groom to dance we did, came back to the table to find our food gone. We did cake, champagne, bouquet and garter belt (which again I had to make). By the time we were ready to leave almost all the guest had left. 

We went to the hotel and the next morning had breakfast with DH family and then went home. There could be a honeymoon as he had just started his new job and I had so much time off from the accident. We went to work the next day. Life was back to what ever normal would be. 

I worked full time retail as a manager trainer, 80 hours a week and hubby worked shift work. We would see each other in the coming and going for the next year. Life had begun. 

Thursday, December 29, 2016

An Invited Guest - Part IV

January 5th was a terrible day for wedding planning. I would spend the next 4 weeks in one hospital or another before being released to my eldest sister. After surgery on my leg, I was told I may walk at some point but would not bend my leg well enough to sit properly every again. I was also told that they could not operate on my arm as they kept me under anastisisa to long. My arm would heal naturally but my hand would never turn properly.

My wedding was in 4 months and I was walking down that aisle. I had my dad find out how long the aisle was at the chapel. Fifty feet, that is all I had to accomplish. I told the therapist my goals were not her goals and I would walk down that aisle. There were no illusions on their part as to my success.

I worked hard even when not in the PT rooms. I was on a mission and would not be stopped.

It was a long journey. I worked hard in the hospital and out. I had to rely on my sister to care for me because there was no one else. My other sister had taken over all the plans for the wedding. She choose the dress, I got to say yes or no, or did I? I was asked my opinion on the ones she choose and told which was the right choice. She moved the reception from the hotel mom had picked to the Elks Lodge my parents belonged to. She changed the menu and the caterer. She cancelled the cake I had chosen and picked a different bakery. She even changed the top of the cake.

My husband, then fiance, packed up my home and moved everything to his place as that is where we would be living. He didn't get everything but did an amazing job for a fella. Having never been to his condo I did not know what to expect but was proud of how hard he tried.

While at my sisters I started to return to work. She would drive me to the closest store so I could work with another manager and get back up to speed. I could not stand for the full 8 hours but I did try and my boss gave me some leeway. I could not wear normal shoes so I was not up to dress code and had to sit a good portion of the day.

It was here that I learned of the changes that had been made. I found the cake topper I wanted to use and sent it down. They attempted to take it apart as the clear plastic that surrounded the young couple did not meet the standards that the baker and my sister liked. They ended up breaking it and when it did finally appear on the cake it was placed on there crooked. I held back the tears as they swelled in my eyes.

My invitations arrived and I started to put together the invitation list. Still having hope of a good wedding. My mom called a few days later and asked where I had put the invitations. I explained I had them mailed to me so I could address them. She was furious. I was to send them to my 2nd sister ASAP as she knew what was proper and there was NO WAY I could do it right.

Enough, my first act of open rebellion when I said NO. Later it would come back and hurt me. When I asked about a vale for my dress and was told she would not buy one. I ended up taking what few dollars I had and bought the necessary materials to make my own vale. It was not what I wanted and my father was not happy I did not add a blusher, but it worked. I also made the bird seed packs that the guest would throw as we left the reception.

An event that most do with their girlfriends and sisters and maybe a mom or mom in law. I did all alone without an utterance from beyond.